Chapter Sixty-One

Easing from his arms, Stephanie slid carefully to the edge of the bed, not wanting to wake him.  She pulled on her robe and settled on the bench by the window.  There were just a few stars still visible, one shining brighter than the rest.  She had done it.  She had gotten those three little words past her lips, even if she had only whispered them.  She still wasn’t entirely sure he had actually heard her either.  She sighed and rested her head against a cool pane of glass.  A sense of melancholy settled on her shoulders.  But she wasn’t sad.  Not exactly. 

Angling her head her eyes came to rest on the man sleeping in her bed.  He was a good man.  So much like Mark, it was no wonder she had fallen for him.  There were similarities in their looks, both had brown hair and broad shoulders, but it was their hearts that had drawn her in.  And their eyes.  Where Richie’s were a warm, rich brown, Mark’s had been as blue as a cloudless summer afternoon.  Both carried laughter there, mixed with patience and understanding.  Both would give you the shirt off their back without hesitation if asked.  Both were the best men she had ever had the opportunity of knowing.

They were cut of the same cloth.  And that was part of the problem.  She was meshing the two together, losing Mark to the reality that was Richie.  She didn’t want to forget him, but it was getting harder to separate the two.  She had lived a lifetime with Mark, given her heart to him for the long haul.  But that trip had fallen far short of the forever she had hoped for.  Now, though, she had another wanting to help her pick up the pieces and get back on the road again.  She couldn’t keep denying her heart anymore.  Mark was her past.  Richie was her present and, if she was lucky, he just might be her future.   

She rested her head against the window again.  She just had to find the courage to say those three words again, only this time, loud enough for him to actually hear them.

Keeping his breathing steady and even, Richie watched her with hooded eyes.  She had been distant with him since the other night when she finally let her heart speak for her.  He was sure she thought he hadn’t heard her.  She hadn’t repeated the words and he hadn’t pressed her on it. 

She had lived through a world of hurt, hurt that would have buckled him and most anyone else he knew.  But she had shouldered it, dealt with it, continued to deal with it and made a new life for herself.  He wanted to be a long-term part of that new life.  He watched as she rested her head against the window and closed her eyes. He eased from the bed and crossed to her on silent feet.

She heard him move, opened her eyes and watched him take the steps to go from the bed to the window.  Silvery moonlight played over his skin as he moved closer.  Drawing her eyes from him, she glanced out the window again, the once bright star was now gone.  Richie sat down opposite her, drawing her attention back to him.  “Did I wake you?”

He picked up her hand from where it rested on her knee.  “Only because you weren’t there next to me.”

She ducked her head, “sorry.  I was restless and couldn’t sleep.  I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Angling his head, he tried to find her eyes with his.  “What’s troubling you, sweetheart?”

She raised her head and looked at him.  In that instant she had a moment of clarity.  Everything fell away but the two of them.  She saw her life, their life.  Everything she was supposed to have had with Mark, she could have with Richie.  She saw happiness in her future with him, because of him.  She had suffered an unfathomable loss, but, from that loss she had gained something that could be as good, maybe even better than what she’d once had.

Reaching out, she found his other hand with hers.  “Nothing’s troubling me.  Not anymore.”  She continued to hold his gaze with hers.  “I love you, Richie.”  She waited a breath.  “I wanted to make sure you heard me this time.”

His grip tightened in hers and he tugged her across the bench to him.  “I heard you the other night, I just wasn’t sure you meant it.” 

Sprawled across him, she rested her head on his shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.  “I did.  I just-” she hesitated.

He turned his head, nuzzled into her hair.  “You just what, sweetheart?” 

“I’m scared.”  She rubbed her cheek against his strong shoulder.  “I don’t want to forget, you know?”  Mark had been her everything, he wouldn’t be easily forgotten.

He eased her off his shoulder so he could look at her.  “Don’t be scared, darlin’.  I would never ask you to forget that part of you.”  He rested his fingers over her heart.  “I just want my own spot in here.”  He wanted to give her everything she had had and more.  So much more.

She picked up his hand and kissed his fingertips.  “You’ve got more than just a spot, Rich.”  She blinked back the tears that had sprung, unbidden, to her eyes.  “You’ve got all that’s left.”

Sliding an arm under her knees he wrapped the other around her and stood, heading back to the bed.  Setting her on her feet, he loosened the sash on her robe and pushed it off her shoulders.  It slithered down her body, a pink puddle at her feet. 

His eyes traveled up from her slender ankles, over slim thighs, the not-quite flat of her belly, her breasts that tantalized and higher to her face before finally meeting her eyes.  He stopped.  They were clear, not a hint of sadness to be seen, not a shadow to be found.  He felt that she was finally, completely with him.  Not that she hadn’t been responsive to him or giving him less than she had to give, but he had always had a niggling sense that she hadn’t been entirely with him.

It wasn’t there now.

It thrilled him to see just how clear her kaleidoscope eyes were.  He eased her down onto the bed.  He hated that he was going away for the next thirty days.  He spent what was left of the night showing her just how much he would miss her and how glad he was that she finally admitted to herself and to him how she felt.