Chapter Sixty-Two

Grabbing his guitar and suitcase from the trunk, Richie slammed the lid and moved around the car.  Setting his things down, he pulled Stephanie into his arms.  He rubbed his hand up and down her back, a move meant to reassure her, but it comforted him as well.  “Thirty days will go by before you know it.”  Last night had been a turning point for her, for them and he hated to leave her, but he had no choice.  He kissed her head and took a half step back from her so he could see her face. 

She studied him for a long moment.  Was that for her benefit or his own?  “I know.”  She leaned up and pressed her lips to his.  “I’ll miss you.”  Somehow, leaving him here was harder than watching him fly off to the other side of the world.

“I’ll miss you too, Sweetheart.”  He kissed her, his mouth moving over hers slowly, sensuously, savoring her flavor.  It would be a month before he would get a taste of her again and he was going to make the most of the minutes he had left.  

Leaning against the car door, Stephanie watched him climb the steps, guitar case in one hand, suitcase in the other.  He paused and turned, winking at her before he continued up the steps.  She found a smile for him and raised her hand to wave.  He disappeared inside the sprawling, Mediterranean style estate.  It looked for all the world like someone’s house, not a rehab center.  She had fully expected it to look like a medical building or hospital, or something a little more clinical than a house that rivaled his own. 

Climbing back in the car she sat for a moment longer, the view of the Santa Monica mountains was spectacular.  Between that and the breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean, she almost wished she was staying.  She hoped Richie found the peace he was missing and found a way to handle the stress of his hectic life.  She knew from the little bit of research she had done on the place, that the views and the accommodations were all just a small part of the healing process.  He’d find sanctuary there, quiet time to exorcise the demons that still haunted him. 

They had specialized programs to address each individual’s issues and clinical services to meet individual needs.  He’d be comfortable here, in a home-like setting instead of a hospital.  His privacy would be protected here, in a gated community where the distractions of everyday life were minimal and unexpected visitors were not allowed.  He could take long walks, take refuge in one of the meditation areas, join in a conversation in one of the common areas or just keep to himself in his room and play his guitar.  Anything to get himself evened out and relieved of the stress.

Putting the key in the ignition, she started the car and lowered the top.  It was too pretty a day to keep it up.  He had promised to call her, she mused as she drove slowly down the lane.  She had told him just to concentrate on getting better.  “Don’t worry about me, Rich, focus on yourself” she had told him.

But, he insisted, “I’m allowed to use the phone, sweetheart.  They even have the internet here.  Besides,” he took her hands in his, “you’re part of what helps keep me on an even keel.”  He brought her hands to his lips, kissing the backs of them, “you and Ava.  So I’m going to be calling you both.”

She smiled to herself as she drove out the gates.  There was just no arguing with the man.

~

Richie stood in the middle of his room.  He didn’t know what to do with himself.  There was no way he was ready to go to sleep at-he leaned over to look at the clock-nine o’clock, but curfew had him relegated to his room.  He looked around.  He had one of the private rooms with an ensuite bathroom.  Sometimes having money had its advantages.  Not that he would have minded sharing a room with someone, but it’s nice to have your privacy.  It was a nice enough room with all the amenities-bed, dresser, small table and a comfortable-enough looking chair.  He glanced back at the bed.  No way that was a king-sized bed.  He was sure if he lay down in the middle and stretched out his arms he could touch either side.    

His eyes continued their perusal of the room.  His guitar was propped in the corner and his notebook was on the small table.  He had too much energy.  He should have skipped the soda with dinner.  Caffeine was not his friend tonight.

He crossed to the French doors and stepped out on the small balcony.  The sun had set and with no encroaching city lights, the stars were out in full, sparkly force.  Even if he stood here for the entire thirty days he wouldn’t be able to count them all.  He took a deep, cleansing breath and blew it out.  He needed to try to relax enough to sleep soon.  The morning wake-up call would come early and everyone and his brothers knew he was not a morning person.

He stepped back into the room, grabbed his guitar, notebook and phone and slipped back outside.  He settled in one of the wicker chairs and stared up at the heavens.  He needed this.  Closing his eyes, he laid his head back against the back of the chair and propped his bare feet up on the railing.  He thought about Stephanie and could see her standing by her car, her arm raised to wave at him. 

Blindly, he picked up his guitar and started quietly strumming.  He hadn’t lied when he told her that she and Ava were the ones who kept him centered.  Before Stephanie, it was just Ava and that was a lot of responsibility for a young girl to handle on her own.  Then he had met Stephanie and his world had shifted on its axis.  He was a very lucky man and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for his girls.  Once he got his head on straight, when he had all the madness in his life worked out, he’d give them all they could ever want or need.  He’d be right there beside them, every step of the way.

He paused his strumming and picked up his pencil.  The words flowed out of him and onto the page almost faster than he could write.

Sometimes we live inside the madness
We have to make it through the sadness,
What's worse, a blessing or a curse,
It's gonna take a little practice
We gotta keep on keepin' at this
Live and learn, can't let us crash and burn

When you feel alone
I will sing you home
I'll be there,
To help you make it through
When your tears are gone
And we will go on, I swear,
There's nothing I won't do
I'll always walk beside you
Beside you

Sometimes there's nothing to believe in,
You end up searching for a reason,
Breath in, and just believe in me
Many roads lead through the darkness
Feeling hopeless, feeling heartless
Reach out, I'll give you all you need.

He set the pencil down, flipped to the recording app on his phone and picked up the guitar again.  His fingers moved nimbly across the strings and he sang quietly, pausing every so often to write as the words came to him.

When you feel alone
I will sing you home
I'll be there,
To help you make it through
When your tears are gone
And we will go on, I swear,
There's nothing I won't do
I'll always walk beside you

I, I'll never get ahead of us
I, I will never leave you behind,

I'll always walk, always walk beside you

When you feel alone
I will sing you home
I'll be there,

To help you make it through
When your tears are gone
And we will go on, I swear,
There's nothing I won't do
I'll always walk beside you
Beside you,
Always walk beside you
Beside you,
Always walk beside you
Beside you,
I will walk
Beside you

Picking up the phone he played back what he had recorded.  It was rough, but it would definitely work.  Gathering his things he headed back inside.  Picking up his phone again he stretched out on the bed and found the number he was looking for.  He plumped the pillow behind his head and smiled as his own voice resonated in his ear-she really needed to change that ringback tone-before her quiet “hey you” greeted him.

“Hey yourself sweetheart.  What are you doing this fine evening?”

She smiled and settled back into the chaise and gazed up at the stars.  “I was just about to go inside and run a bath.  I’ve been sitting out on the deck watching the stars.”  She took the final sip of her wine and set the empty glass on the floor.  “How about you?”  He hadn’t even been there the a day.  He couldn’t miss her yet.  Could he?

He told her a little bit about his day from the time she left.  “I’m supposed to be sleeping, but I had too much caffeine earlier.  I was doing a little star-gazing myself and got inspired.  I’ve got a brand new song just about done.” 

Her smile widened, he sounded happy and so proud of himself.  “Do I get to hear this new song?”

“I tell you what."  He shifted on the bed and got a little more comfortable.  "Why don’t you go run that bath and I’ll sing it to you.”