Chapter Seventeen

The parking area Richie pulled into was deserted and he parked in a spot closest to the beach.  Leaving their shoes in the car, Richie grabbed the blanket from the trunk and they stepped through the opening in the concrete barriers onto the cool sand.  The moon had broken through the clouds and lit their path.

They walked in a companionable silence for a bit, just listening to the waves crashing against the shore.  Unconsciously, his hand reached for hers and he tangled their fingers together as they moved down the beach.

The heat that slid up her arm when their fingers met had her hesitating for the briefest moment before curling her fingers around his.  Stop being an idiot.  He was just holding her hand.

Her hesitation didn’t go unnoticed.  Stopping in a silvery pool of moonlight, Richie turned to face her, holding their entwined hands up so she could see them.  “Does this bother you?”

Flustered by his reaction, Stephanie stumbled over her words as she searched for a way to answer him.  “Yes-” she watched him frown and felt his fingers slacken in their grip.  She tried to back pedal.  “No… it’s just… I’m not-” she blew out a breath “damn it.”  

Letting his hand go, she paced away from him, trying to gather her thoughts.  She looked to the sky, searching the stars for answers.  Why was this so hard?  Turning back she took a breath and tried again. “It’s not that it bothers me, it’s just...”.   She dropped her gaze to the sand. God how did she explain this to him without hurting his feelings and sounding like a complete moron?

Shaking out the blanket he still carried, he reached for her hands, “come on sweetheart, sit down and let’s talk about this.”  He wasn’t ready to give up on her yet.  He wanted to help her work through her resistance and get her to a place where she could be comfortable with him.

Settling beside him, she drew her knees up, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees.  The breeze blew her hair across her face as she looked out over the water.  “I’m sorry.”

With gentle fingers he tucked her hair back so he could see her face.  “Don’t be sorry.  Tell me what’s going on so we can get past this.”

Turning her head she stared at him for a long minute.  He was being so understanding; any other guy she was sure would have ran screaming the other way by now.  Shifting her gaze back out across the water her mouth opened and the words just came tumbling out.  “Mark and I met when we were just 16.  We worked at the same fast food restaurant.  I thought he was cute with those deep blue eyes of his, despite the hideous uniforms we had to wear.”  She smiled at the memory.  “It took him three months to work up the nerve to ask me out.”

Richie watched the emotions flit across her face as she told him her personal love story. She’d had what he had always wanted and had hoped he found with Heather.  As she told him of their ups and downs, their hopes and dreams, his heart ached for her and for all that she had lost.  To love and be loved so completely, he wanted to know that kind of love.

Her words slowed as she neared the end of her tale.  Her breath hitched as she told him of those last days.  When she turned her head, her eyes glistened with unshed tears.  “I loved him with everything I had Rich, and it damned near killed me to say goodbye.”  She picked up his hand, the need for just that bit of contact outweighing the feeling that she was somehow doing something terribly wrong.  “He was the only guy I ever touched and let touch me.  He was the only one who ever made me feel wanted, desired.”

She looked up, her eyes finding his.  “Then I moved to California, thinking I could get past the grief and loss with a new job and different scenery.  I wasn’t looking for a new guy, never even considered that a possibility.  Then, by some odd stroke of luck, I met you.  A man I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d ever get to meet, let alone have to have a conversation like this with.  You’ve made me feel wanted and desired again and, in all honesty, it scares me.  As much as my head knows Mark is gone and that even just holding hands with you is okay, my heart is taking longer to accept that fact.”

She turned her head to look back across the water and a single tear escaped down her cheek.  “Why is it so hard to let go?”

Pulling his hand back, he took a chance and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  He contemplated the waves as he tried to find the right words.  “It wasn’t easy for me to start over after Heather and I divorced.  You think you found that one person, the one that’s your be all, end all and then the next thing you know, she’s asking for a divorce and I’m moving out and trying to figure out just where things went to shit.  Then I hooked up with Denise.”

Stephanie shifted closer to him, her hip touching his as he told her his story.  He tightened his arm around her to keep her close.

“The first time we f-” he paused, deciding he didn’t want to be quite that crude.  “The first time we slept together, I have to tell you, it was a little weird.  She was all new territory for me.  It does take some time to get comfortable with someone new.”  He looked down at her, “you were with Mark for 25 years, he’s only been gone for a short time.  I know it’s going to take a while for you to get comfortable with me, but I hope I can at least hold your hand and steal a kiss without you looking like you’re scared to death of me.”

They sat together, neither saying a word, just watching the waves creep closer as the tide moved in.  When the cold starting seeping through the blanket and she started to shiver Richie stood and held out his hand, “come on sweetheart, it’s getting too cold for my old bones to sit here any longer.”

Putting her hand in his she let him help her up.  Before she could reach down for the blanket he caught her chin with his fingers and tipped her head up.  His lips were on hers before she could blink.

He heard her quick intake of breath and knew he’d caught her off guard.  That had been his intent.  If he could get her not to think about what was happening she wouldn’t have a chance to freeze up on him.

With his mouth on hers she couldn’t think; she could only react.  Her arms moved of their own accord, winding around his waist.  Her mouth moved with his, opening when his tongue sought entrance, letting him fill her with his flavor.  When she felt his hand slip from her chin, his long fingers curling into the hair at her nape, she pulled her mouth from his.  Her eyes were blurry as she tried to focus on his. 

“I think you should take me home now.”