Chapter Seven

Rolling her shoulders, Stephanie turned under the hot, pulsing spray and rinsed the conditioner out of her hair.  They had spent the day in Santa Monica, walking the pier, poking into kitschy touristy shops, eating cotton candy and corn dogs, dipping their toes into the pacific coast sand and surf. It had been wonderful and now they were back at her house getting ready to go to dinner.  She had made a reservation for them at the Valley Inn in Sherman Oaks.  Shutting the water off she yawned hugely.  At this point, though, she was fairly certain she was going to fall asleep in her soup.

With a weary sigh she reached for her towel and dried herself off.  A nap would be nice she thought as she studied her face in the mirror and applied her moisturizer.  She hadn’t gotten but just a few hours of sleep the night before.  After she spewed her troubles all over her friends the night before she should have slept like the dead.  But even emotionally worn out, sleep just didn’t seem to be her friend anymore.

Pulling on her robe she dried her hair and wandered back into her bedroom.  The girls were downstairs waiting, but the bed looked so inviting.  Five minutes she told herself as she stretched out.  Just five minutes.

Forty-five minutes later a hand was gently shaking her shoulder.  Stephanie opened her eyes to find three pairs of concerned eyes staring down at her.  She rubbed a hand over her face and stretched.  “What?”  She looked at the clock and nearly groaned.  She’d be asleep far longer than she intended.

“Are you sure you want to go out tonight?”  They were all worried about her.  She hadn’t seemed herself the entire day.

Steph nodded.  “Yeah.  Sorry.  I only meant to close my eyes for a minute.  I guess I was more tired than I thought.”   She stood and took a step toward the closet.  “Let me just get dressed and then we can go.”

Hath laid a hand on her arm as she started to move past.  “We don’t have to go, we can stay in and just order a pizza if you’d rather.”  Willow and Catte nodded their agreement. “Absolutely. We can go out tomorrow night instead.”

Steph shook her head.  She had invited the girls out here to have a good time, not sit in her house and twiddle their thumbs.  “No, really, I’m fine.”  She stepped into the closet hung her robe on its hook, shimmied into her underwear and grabbed her jeans.  “You guys are too quiet out there.”  She pulled on a black lace tank and a long gray tunic sweater. Grabbing her boots and a belt she stepped back into the room.  The girls had their heads together and were talking quietly.  She moved into the bathroom.  “I know you’re talking about me in there.  Come on, talk louder so I can hear what you’re saying about me.”

The girls stepped to the doorway, watching as Stephanie fixed her hair and dabbed on concealer under her eyes, trying to cover up the dark circles.  “We’re just worried about you.  We really think we should stay in tonight and just order out and watch movies or something.”

Stephanie moved past them, sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her boots on.  “I appreciate you guys looking out for me, but really, I’m fine.”  She paused in front of the full length mirror, slid her glasses on and adjusted her belt.  Just because she was having a difficult day was no reason for her friends to suffer.  

Taking a deep breath she turned to face them.  “We’re going to dinner and when we get back I’ll take one of my sleeping pills and tomorrow will be a better day.”  She picked up her purse and paused at the door, looking back at her friends.  “Well, come on,” she found a smile for her girls. “I’m ready for some real food and a nice glass of wine.”

Willow put her arm around Stephanie.  “Well since you are rockin’ those skinny jeans and an amazing pair of boots, it’d be a shame to stay home.  I say let’s go.”  

The restaurant was just a short drive out the Ventura Freeway.   Half an hour after leaving her house, the girls were ushered to their table, drinks in hand.

~

Parking the car Richie turned to his dinner companion.  “You got all your stuff baby girl?”

Ava rolled her eyes.  At thirteen she was no longer a baby, but her father would never see her as anything but.  “Yes dad.”

Stepping from the car his shoulders slumped slightly.  He hated this part of their visits, taking her back to her mother.  Shutting the door he glanced at the camaro he had parked next to.  Why did it look familiar?

Rounding the front of his car he wrapped his arm around Ava’s shoulders as they walked toward the door.  Holding the door for his daughter he looked back at the car again.  He knew he had seen it before.

Ava nudged him.  He had been staring at that car since they had gotten out of their own. “Why do you keep looking at that car dad?”

He looked down at his daughter.  “It’s a great car.”

Ava shrugged.  Whatever.  “It’s just a car.”

He shook his head as the hostess led them to their table.  He’d have to teach her a thing or two about classic American heavy metal.  “It’s more than just a car baby girl.  It’s a 1967 Camaro SS.”  He pulled out her chair for her before sitting down.  “It’s a classic.”  He looked around as he picked up his menu and spotted the four women at the table two away from his and he remembered.  It was her car.

Holding up his menu he risked a glance at their table.  What were they doing here?  Were they following him or something?  That’s all he needed.  He was just trying to have a quiet dinner with this favorite girl before taking her back to her mother.  He lowered his menu. They hadn’t seen him.  They were smiling and talking.  He zeroed in on her.  Her head was angled, listening to something her redheaded friend was saying.  She had a pretty profile.  Small nose, pert chin, full lips.  And tonight she was wearing glasses.

Catte finished her story and Stephanie sat back, picking up her wine glass as she did.  Looking up she saw him across the way.  What was he doing here and why was he was staring at her again? Self-consciously she pushed at her glasses and set her wine back on the table.  “Girls, I think we have a stalker.”

At their puzzled expression she nodded her head to the table across the way and picked up her wine glass again.  “It seems we found a certain guitar player again.”  She took a sip of her wine.  “Actually, he found us this time.”

All during dinner furtive glances were exchanged and the conversation was low and excited. “How do we keep managing to run in to him?”  Hath was astounded that for all the years she had wanted to meet the man and never did, in her one and a half days in California she had run into him three times already.

The others didn’t know.  They were just as surprised as she was.  Stephanie reached for the folder with bill, slipping her credit card into the pocket as the others were reaching for their wallets.  “You know he does live near here, it could just be a coincidence.”

When the waitress came back with the receipt, Stephanie signed it and tucked her credit card back into her purse.  “You girls ready to go?”  They all stood and she handed her car keys to Hath as they reached the door.  “I have to use the restroom.  Go ahead and get in the car.”

She had just flushed the toilet when she heard the other stall door close and lock.  Stepping to the sink she studied her face in the mirror as she washed her hands.  God she needed some sleep. Dropping the paper towel in the trash she flipped her hair over her shoulder and stepped out into the hallway.

Richie was standing in front of the door waiting and found his arms full of a slender brunette when she came out the door and ran right in to him.  She smelled of midnight and flowers. Setting her away from him he held onto her hands to make sure she was steady on her feet.  “Darlin’ are you okay?”

Stephanie nodded.  “Yeah.”  Please don’t let it be who I think it is she thought to herself as she raised her head.  No such luck.  “I’m fine thanks.  I guess I need to watch where I’m going.”  

He smiled down at her, not letting go of her hands.  “Nope, my fault entirely.  I shouldn’t have been standing right in front of the door.”  Here, now, he could see her eyes.  They were a kaleidoscope of brown and green.  Sea goddess eyes.  Bewitching, beautiful with a hint of sadness and bewilderment. 

Her eyes met his and time seemed to stop.  There was no one else, just the two of them in that little hallway.  She didn’t blink, couldn’t.  His eyes were exactly how she thought they’d be.  Warm and smiling, with just a hint of mischief.  Her heart beat a little faster and then it happened.  She blinked.

Time started again, the noise from the bar intruded on the moment, the door behind them opened and she tugged her hands from his.  “I need to go.”  She moved past him and out the door before he could stop her.

Ava stood next to her father, looking up at him.  “Who was that?”

Putting a hand on his daughter’s shoulder he walked them to the door.  “She’s the owner of that camaro we parked next to.”   Walking to his car he saw the taillights of the car head left out of the exit. 

Ava settled herself in the front seat and pulled her seatbelt across the front of her.  “What’s her name?”

Richie put the key in the ignition and stared at his daughter.  Well fuck, what the hell is her name?

Chapter Six

After getting settled, the girls gathered on the deck and spread out. Hath stretched out on a chaise, Catte and Willow took up in the comfortable, cushy chairs at the table, jumping to help when Steph stepped out with a tray of drinks and snacks.

“’Ritas all around, except for Wils.” She handed her an interesting looking purple concoction.

“What’s this?” She looked at the glass skeptically.

Stephanie set the snacks on the table and sat down in one of the chairs. “Don’t look so worried. It’s grape Gatorade.”

Wils frowned. “You all get adult beverages and I get Gatorade? That’s not fair.”

Steph laughed at her friend’s pouty face. “Just try it.”

She was still unsure. “I don’t know.”

Steph rolled her eyes to the sky. “Trust me. You’ll like it. Promise.”

Wils took a sip. Then another. “Oh man, that’s good.”

Steph nodded. “I told you.” She looked over at Catte and Hath. “How are the ‘ritas?”

They each took long draws from their drinks. “Delicious!”

The woman chatted easily, laughed about their afternoon and the frantic tweets that followed, all the while filling Stephanie in on all she had missed during the last year.

“Wait, you’re telling me that they’re still on tour?” Steph couldn’t believe they were still going.

Hath nodded. “Yup. Right through July next year so they say.”

“Wow.” She sat back in her chair. She had thought they’d be long done by now and sleeping for a month or pursuing other projects. She smiled slightly, “Richie sure looked good today, didn’t he?”

That comment brought on more talk of their encounter with the tall, dark and outrageously flirtatious guitarist they had run into that afternoon.

“He seemed to take an instant liking to you” Wils said, nudging Steph with her elbow.

She shook her head. “You’re imagining things.”

Catte and Hath both shook their heads. “He even said he liked you.”

“That’s just because Hath’s smartass rubbed off on me and I didn’t know what I was saying.”

Catte nudged her elbow, “he even called you ‘sweetheart’.”

Steph held up her hands, “stop, just stop. No way does he like me. There are a million other women for him to chase around California. He was just being nice.” She rose and headed toward the house. No way was she going to let herself think about that. It wasn’t what she wanted anyway. “Anyone else need a refill?”

The girls watched their friend walk into the house. “What was that about?” Catte and Willow turned to look at Hath. Surely she would know what was going on with their friend.

Hath watched through the window as Stephanie moved about the kitchen; she had known her longer than Catte and just slightly longer than Wils, but even she didn’t understand why her friend was acting like this. Any one of them would have given her right arm to have Richie look at them twice. They needed to get Steph talking and find out what was going on with her. “I don’t know, but we need to find out.” She looked to the door again. “Here she comes.”

Steph set the pitcher of margaritas on the table and handed Willow a second glass and sat back down in her chair and sighed. “I’m sorry about that.”

“Talk to us” they said. “What’s going on with you?” They were all concerned.

Steph sipped her drink. “Did I tell you guys why I moved out here?”

Three heads shook ‘no’ in unison. “Other than starting a new job, no. Why did you move out here?” She had them all curious now.

Stephanie stood and moved restlessly to the railing, looking unseeingly out over the backyard before turning to face her friends.

“You can’t begin to imagine what it was like. You saw how I was after the funeral, before you all left. It didn’t get much better.” She leaned back against the railing and looked at Willow. 

“You mentioned earlier how skinny I am and you asked me where the rest of me was. I wasn’t lying when I answered you. I left 55 pounds of me back in New York. I had days were I just wouldn’t eat, didn’t remember too, wasn’t hungry. My appetite was shot and when I did remember too or thought I was hungry, I would only get a bite or two down before I just couldn’t swallow another forkful. I survived on hot tea and bottled water most days.”

Stephanie paced slowly between the table and the railing. Her shadow long across the deck floor in the early evening light.

“My whole life had been wrapped up in Mark and Ben. Mark and I started dating when we were 16. Sixteen! I was with him more than half my life. And Ben, he was just on the cusp of adolescence. Barely 13. He was supposed to have his whole life ahead of him. Not have it stolen away by some stupid over-tired truck driver. How was I supposed to keep living my life when the best parts of it were gone?”

The girls had gone quiet, watching and listening to the pain and grief pour out of their friend.

“I did though. Sort of. I just went through the motions. I got up in the morning, went to work, came home. I don’t think I felt anything for those first few months. I must have been on autopilot or something. I really don’t remember much other than the long quiet evenings with no laughter, no inane questions to answer, no homework to check, nothing. Just utter silence.” She paused, swiping at a tear with the back of her hand. “The quiet is the worst.”

“But, with my family, friends and a really good therapist, I started to feel again, started to think about making some changes. I knew I couldn’t stay in that house, it was just too hard, the memories we had made there, good and bad, were overwhelming. Some days I felt as though I would drown from them. So, after I got the settlement from the trucking company, I did things that they say you shouldn’t do during the first year after a great tragedy. I quit my job and put my house up for sale. My family thought I was nuts, but I needed to get out of there. If I was ever going to get back to some kind of normal, I had to get away for a while. So, here I am, 3000 miles from everyone and everything I knew, trying to find my way again. Alone.”

She heaved in a breath. “I haven’t ever been alone. I’m not sure I know how, but I’m trying. That’s part of the reason I can’t even think about Richie liking me. Not that I don’t think he was just being nice in saying that and didn’t really mean it. But, I need to learn how to be me. Besides, I’m not even sure I want another guy. For 20 years I was married to the best man I knew, where could I possibly go from there?”

She sat back, emotionally spent, and was immediately surrounded by her friends. Someone pressed a napkin in her hand and she wiped her eyes as they hugged. With a final sniff she pressed back. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I invited you guys out here to have fun, not depress you all.”

Hath, Catte and Willow sat back down and wiped their own faces. “We’re your friends; we’re here for you, whatever you need.”

Stephanie nodded. “I know and I love you for it, but now, let’s plan some fun for the next couple of days, okay?”